Delirious Freaking Men

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
skarmoree

thatwaspleasant asked:

What uh. What's the frog story 👀

sadclowncentral answered:

back when i was in second grade, my elementary school organised a school market with every class selling their crafts for charity. the contribution of my class were hand-sized ceramic frogs we made in art class. each one of us made one of them to be sold for five euros a piece (this is important later). the quality of the frog i made varies drastically based on who is telling the story, and for reasons that will become very apparent later there is no way to check, but i stand by the fact that it was average looking, if a bit wonky.

the day of the market arrived, and all frogs were bought within minutes, snatched up by enthusiastic and proud parents. all except - mine. because my mother hates spending money on unnecessary things, and she hates children’s crafts even more. so she - loudly and vehemently - refused, in her thick eastern european accent, to “spend five euros on an ugly frog”.

i will never forget seeing my ceramic frog alone on the slightly wet cardboard, surrounded by the imprints left behind by the already sold frogs. all the while other parents are getting more and more agitated, trying to get my mother to put the frog out of its misery. eventually, she budged, and spend five euros on a wonky frog. she was absolutely furious about this.

so furious, in fact, that when we came home to where my father was remodelling the kitchen, she WALLED IT IN. that’s right. she cask of amadillo’d that poor ceramic fool. put him into the open wall and slapped concrete over it faster than my poor seven year old self or my dad could protest. out of pure anger over loosing five euros. and that’s where it remains, until this day.

my mom hates when this story is brought up, which is why we bring it up all the time. she also thinks she what she did was right, because “do the other parents know where the frog is? no. only your creation is safe. because i love you.” morally, i would disagree, but on a pure factual basis, she has a point.

i made her another ceramic frog for her last brithday, which was not buried like some pharaoh, and everytime guests compliment it my brother loudly goes “oh you should see the other frog he made” and when they ask to see it, he points at the wall. this is hilarious to him and infuriating for my mother. and that’s the frog story.

sadclowncentral

people in the notes are strongly divided on whether this is tragic or hilarious. well let me tell you a secret. it is both. all the best stories are

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AODJAJDBAHAHAHAHHAA frog saga
gloomybirdie
sabertoothwalrus

I like zukka as a ship but I cannot go into the tags for content about it. why is everyone so insistent on making zuko a little femboy. so many people just see a long haired man regardless of culture/time period and call him femme. And they make sokka hypermasculine like hello????? he’s so fucking flamboyant ?? he wrote poetry, loved arts and crafts, wore a gay little purse, and did DRAG. in CANON. In a modern setting sokka would fix your car and then say SLAYYY do a death drop

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THIS YES OMG Sokka is the goober I haven’t seen much stuff with Zuko being femme but I can see people doing that that makes me angry tbh
blatantescapism
lurlur

Something that I've found to produce unexpected enjoyment in my life is just not knowing which version of the iPhone is the latest model.

Whenever someone tells me "oh yeah, I've got the iPhone umpteen" or whatever, it's so funny to just give them an Elle Woods style "is that good?"

With the right Apple fan and the right delivery, I believe you could make a grown man cry with this.

blatantescapism

It’s extra powerful to do this as an iPhone user. I’ve had the same old phone for years. With each new model release, my psychic attack does greater damage. My local fanboy has gone from smug superiority, to pity, to bafflement, to increasing horror as I show no signs of updating.

The battery has been in decline, maybe next year it will stop being able to get up to 20%. Until it’s literally unusable, I just don’t care.

I have an iPhone 8 it works fine the battery is just trash
silvercaptain24

fuck u chocolate parmup is good

healing-hero

this is not up for debate

silvercaptain24

WHY ARE YOU IN THE PARMUP DEBATE

parental-advice-fierce-deity

EVERY DAY WE STRAY FARTHER FROM THE GODS

genericstudios

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genericstudios

Hey, @parental-advice-fierce-deity, I redrew it ;)

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parental-advice-fierce-deity

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HOW I LOOKED ON READING THE INITIAL POST.

hyliagirl42

Plz i beg what is parmup

I might have gotten this answer before but i cant rember

Almost anything tastes good with chocolate tho so i would be surprised to hear if its something that would genuinely taste gross with chocolate cuz theres very few things that fit that category

parental-advice-fierce-deity

IT IS AN ABOMINATION AGAINST ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY.

KETCHUP AND PARMESAN DO NOT TASTE GOOD WITH CHOCOLATE.

silvercaptain24

They don’t even taste good together, much less along with chocolate.

parental-advice-fierce-deity

BEFORE ANYONE SAYS “BUT KETCHUP IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS PASTA SAUCE”: IT IS NOT. NO ONE ADDS THAT MUCH SUGAR TO PASTA SAUCE, AND USUALLY IF PASTA SAUCE HAS VINEGAR IT’S BALSAMIC AND NOT WHITE VINEGAR.

silvercaptain24

@telemna-hyelle YOUVE BEEN DISPROVED

PARMUP NOOOOOOO chocolate parmup sounds disgusting I’m sorry REGULAR parmup sounds disgusting imma force my cousin to try it